Paying for Daughters wedding...but??????????

My daughter is getting married in March. I'm very happy. I told her that I would love to help pay for her wedding. I paid for the Church ($500), the reception ($3800), the cake ($525), flowers ($650), Tux's ($400), Wedding dress ($900), a honeymoon in Mexico ($4100) and numerous other expenses that I said I would take care of..and I have and everything is paid in full!





However, last night she called and "told" me to pick up 150 stamps for the invitation (BTW, I paid for also). I was a little offended that she wants me to pay for stamps. I told her no, that she should pay the $40 or so..NOW she's mad that I won't pay for that.





Please understand, I am a single father that pay's child-support, her mother hasn't offered to pay a dime but wants to run the show...and I'll be paying for her and her husband's family to eat at the reception (the man she cheated on me with) and I don't have a problem with that and I will be gracious of course.





I just feel a little put out.....

Paying for Daughters wedding...but??????????
My dad was in this same situation when my sister got married. And he just grinned and beared it! It was awful for him, but it isn't worth ruining a relationship over. Your daughter is being a little snotty about it though...If I were her, I would have bought the stamps on my own and not have thought twice about it...Maybe you should sit her down and talk to her about how you feel. Basically tell her exactly what you said here. Hopefully she would be understanding enough...


Lucky for my dad, I got married less than a year after my sister, and I let him have complete control over the planning, and I even pitched in a few dollars and bought my own stamps!
Reply:You better have a sit down with the spoiled and possibly ungrateful daughter of yours. As for the exwife, you have definately taken the high road... Good for you.





It is only $40 and if she is supposedly a grown up and getting married she needs to act like a grown up.





Dont give in, $40, $400 or $4000 your daughter needs a passive agressive "spanking".
Reply:You've done so much. I'm sure she can afford stamps. It sounds like your daughter is taking advantage of her position as Bride! I'm sorry she's taking advantage of your generosity, and I hope the situation improves. Brides can be very temperamental, especially as the date grows nearer. As for the ex-wife, she's not being very considerate of your feelings, is she?
Reply:You have done MORE than enough!! I thought that the groomsmen were supposed to pay for their own tuxes, and the groom's family traditionally paid for the honeymoon. I think her mother can fork out the $40 to pay for stamps. Your daughter is being inconsiderate of you, you have done so much for her already!!
Reply:I think you need to sit and have a talk with her. Outline what you have done and how much you have spent. You dont want a big fued prior to the big day but let her know that you felt like a doormat when she told you to pick up stamps. Not asked but expected you to do so. Don't let her be a Bridezilla! You have every right to feel put out. And if your daughter is old enough and mature enough to get married then is old enough and mature enough to have this discussion with you and offer an apology for her actions.
Reply:I note you said you would "help"


pay for the wedding. Sounds like you are doing it all! Sorry, but she's a spoiled little girl and was very wrong to have asked this of her.


Don't know where you live, but the days of the bride's father paying for the whole wedding are long gone! Usually couples are working, so they pay for their own wedding! Poor you... hope you have enough dough left to do something nice for yourself.
Reply:I would feel very insulted if I were you. You need to tell your daughter that you agreed to "help" pay for her wedding, not PAY for every last bit of it. You've done more than enough and I think its about time you sit her and her fiance down, and tell them how it is. You've put so much into their wedding and dont feel your getting the respect or appreciation in return, and from here on out it is up to them to find a way of paying for their remainding expenses. Tell them you love them and your glad you helped out so much, but the responsibility is no longer yours. End of Story. Good luck and dont give in, stick up for your self.
Reply:Your daughter is very lucky to have you. Be honest with her about how her behavior is making you feel. Tell her, "I don't mind paying for the things that I already have, but now it's time for you to take over the rest". If she has any problems with that, have her call any one of us brides who are barely making ends meet and still paying for our wedding on our own.
Reply:Women tend to get a little crazy when it comes to their wedding. I think you have done more than enough for your daughter. The groom's parents should have paid for the honeymoon, the tuxes, the rehearsal dinner, and the boutennieres. I would invite your daughter over and talk to her about this. The bride's parents are in charge of the wedding (that include's the bride's mother). My parents are divorced and each of them paid $5,000 towards my wedding. My husband's parents paid for our honeymoon ($3,000). Call your ex wife and ask her to contribute. Good Luck, I hope everything works out.
Reply:Wow it is amazing that you have paid for that much! My fiance and I are paying for half of our weddig (we have been living together for 5 years) my parents have offered to put in 10 thousand and we put in the rest. I think it is fair. My fiance and I both work and we own a house so we are quite capable. Your daughter is going to be on her own once she is married and I don't think that asking her to pay for her own stamps is a big deal. She is a big girl who is getting married suck it up! That might be a little harsh to her but she needs to understand otherwise she won't be able to stand on her own two feet once she is out of the house. Good luck you have taken on a lot!
Reply:my parents are footing the bill for my wedding in March, and I wouldn't dare tell my mom and dad to buy anything, maybe say hey dad, would you mind picking up 150 stamps?, but dad-go get 150 stamps is just not somthing I would say to him! sounds like its time mom pitches in to me!





150 stamps will cost her $117-peanuts compared to what your out-I say stick to your guns! Your daughters gonna be married soon-she needs to be well aware that part of marriage is not runnin to daddy everytime you need somethin!





I was even thinking about buying a roll of stamps a week or something to help my parents out...maybe your daughter and her mom could consider that!
Reply:To be honest, It seems she always gets what she wants when she wants, Darlin it is time to put your foot down, and tell her to get off her high horse and help out a little bit. Money does not grow on trees, and she should be greatful, as a single father you have put out so much and still is going, and if she can't respect that then really she can not respect you.
Reply:If you were going to put your foot down and refuse to pay an expense I dont think this is the one on which you should do it. Sounds like you have a bratty daughter who doesnt appreciate what you are giving her...its too bad, but then again I guess they grow up to be what ever you raise them to be. Paying for the stamps is your choice, shes not going to appreciate it if you do, but she will be pissed and forget everything else you have given her if you dont.
Reply:Your daughter is a very spoiled child.
Reply:Wow, she is a very lucky girl and just doesn't know it. With that attitude she won't be married long anyway.
Reply:WOW someone raised a spoiled brat. I guess you and your ex have yourselves to thank. WHY IN THE WORLD DID YOU PAY FOR HER HONEYMOON? It is her future husbands job to pay for the honeymoon. I predict the marriage will not last. If she is this spoiled and he cannot even pay for his own honeymoon he will never be able to please her.
Reply:sounds like a spoiled little brat. sorry, I know its your daughter but I think you paid for enough. she needs to get over it or I would tell her she can call of her little wedding because its not up to you. whats wrong with his parents? they cant pay for some stamps? whats are they paying for as it seems you paid for everything . I would give her a good talking to if I were you.
Reply:She sounds like a little brat. Make her pay for some of her own expensives, she'll get gifts and money that will help her recover her "40 bucks". I think if you are mature enough to get married, you should pay for your own wedding.
Reply:I don't understand why you paid for the honeymoon, You sure are a nice dad. I think you are maybe too nice and being taken advantage of. They can get their own stamps. Just tell her you don't have time to go to the post office, and since they're for her wedding invitations, she probably should pick them out herself. Then do not offer to pay. Enough is enough.
Reply:Sounds like your daugheter needs to grow up a bit. Does she work for a living? Is she paying for anything? I would recommend that you put your foot down, since once she is married you no longer have to support her. She needs to take responsibility. The cost for wedding stamps is a bit more than $40 or so. Typically an invitation stamp is a 67 cent stamp, so that makes it more around $100 for 150. Regardless, Mom should contribute as well...so saying no is perfectly within your realm.
Reply:This won't be the popular answer - but grin and bear it for now. What you are doing is a selfless act of love and everyone should be so good to their children (within their means). The fact that you are footing the bill and not complaining about her mother and stepfather shows a great deal of character. You must really love your daughter.





So, to my point: I say pay for the damn stamps or jeapordize ruining your daughter's happy day (that YOU spent so much money on). It seems as if she is a little spoiled and selfish (maybe a result of your guilt from the divorce?), but don't ruin this time for any of you. You've already shown that you are the better person, so continue to be that way over this petty little stamp thing.





I do think you have every right to be upset with her, but remember, children are what we teach them to be. Maybe it's time (AFTER the wedding) to sit down and have a talk with her. If she can't afford $40 for stamps, how is she going to live the rest of her life? Put your foot down after all of this and make her start behaving like an adult.





Deal with it for now, go to the wedding, have a blast and be happy. Afterward though, I think it would be wise to take a look at what your daughter has grown up to be and decide if you can live with her behaving like a spoiled brat.
Reply:i think your a great dad from that point of view. all of that and she wants more...thats lil greedy. i hope her husband knows how to set ground rules
Reply:Sounds like your daughter knows how to use someone! You are not overreacting - you are being used for your generosity and she obviously does not appreciate it!
Reply:I think your daughter is taking you for granted. It is ridiculous that she would be upset that she has to pay $40 for stamps. My father owns and investment company and is very wealthy and I am lucky if I get $5 in my Christmas card. I even put myself through college because he wouldn't help out. I think you are more then generous by taking care of your daughter's arrangements and she needs to be more gracious and appreciate all that you do for her.