Why wouldn't you want kids at a wedding?

i am 17 and i know that i might not understand stuff yet. but i couldn't imagine not having kids at my wedding. i think that they are the best part of the wedding. i have never been to a wedding were there weren't kids and i wouldn't want to. it makes it difficult on the parents, i mean they have to get a babysiter and stuff. and why wouldn't you want them there. its so fun to watch kids at weddings, plus you would feel pretty weird doing the chicken dance with a bunch of adults.





to me weddings are a celebration. and it's just like a big party. there shouldn't be worries, you should just have a good time. it's about families, i mean you are starting your own family that day. then shouldn't you include other peoples families. it just doesn't make since to me.





why would you want to not let kids come to your wedding?





i'm talking more about the reception than anything?





also what would you do with the ring bearer and the flower girl, would they have to go home after the wedding

Why wouldn't you want kids at a wedding?
I totally agree with you! Weddings should be family celebrations!
Reply:I'm extremely close to my family...sometimes functions are for adults only...why bother asking the question if you choose the person that agreed with you as best answer? Report It

Reply:1) Money. Receptions where I live are expensive, about $70 a head for adults and $15-$20 per kid. The average wedding in my area is 25K for 100 people. Personally, I can't invite every last child. I would be increase my budget by a lot.





2)Noise. Yes, not all children misbehave, but children have their moments. I worked as a waitress in college, I've seen children in restuarant settings. They get over stimulated, make a mess, etc. Just b/c your little cousin Jason acts like an angel one day, doesn't mean he will the next.





A women I worked with put it well. Children get tried, hungry and bored easily. When this happens, what do they do? They bug their parents, start fights with their siblings. They can't help it. Children are ruled by emotions. If little Jason is usually good, you can't bet he won't be get bored and fussy b/c everyone is listening to the toasts and speechs, rather then watching him spin himself in a circle on the dance floor. Children like to be the center of attention.





What happen when grandma is paying more attention to Auntie Bride then little Jason.





3) I don't believe I should invite children of friends. I love my friends; however, are their children going to remember my wedding. Probably not. When they are 17, they will remember getting dressed up in a pretty dress, but then they'll ask mom, "Who's wedding was that again" I paid for some kid not to even remember my name?





4) Alcohol is served at weddings. I don't see it fit for a child to be watching adults consuming alcohol like that.





5) Too many kids equallys craziness. Growing up I had 10 first cousins. Family events were crazy. We were all well behaved children when not together. When we got together, it was all about us. All about us having fun. We didn't see the party as something for the adults. We were kids, we were selfish, we thought it should be all about us.





We use to go to the bar and order 7 Shirley Temples each, to the point where our parents had to tell the bartender to on longer serve us kids. We would crowding the bar and the adults would be trying to get wine or what not. Our parents would have to take us out and say, "no more shirley temples, or we are going home"
Reply:I intend to welcome children at my wedding, but I can understand why others wouldn't. The simple fact is that it is an adult-themed event. There is a long, boring ceremony followed by a long party consisting of dinner, dancing and speeches with alcohol and adult themes (garter tradition) involved. Some children would enjoy that. Most young children wouldn't and their parents wouldn't be able to either. It is unreasonable to expect the hosts of a party to provide babysitting services for your children. For any other adult party, no one would expect kids, and you would leave them at home with a babysitter. People have the same rights for their own wedding.
Reply:MY opinion is that being a 30 year old mom of a 4 year old boy I don't want him to be there simply because It is one of the very very few times I get to be Jenn not MOM for a little bit I can relax have a drink and not worry about if he is OK. I LOVE him dearly but somethings parents just enjoy being able to do without having to be a parent for a couple hours.
Reply:they're loud, they cry, they run around, they drop things, they spill things, they misbehave, they "act up", LOTS OF REASONS


When you're older, you'll understand, trust me
Reply:maybe because the kids will be to rody and running around and maybe its expensive just ahve the kids thats in the wedding and the parents want to have fun
Reply:I got married two years ago and there were pleanty of kids there. None of them "ruined" the wedding by screaming or anything else. Most parents will excuse themselves and their child if they get upset or rowdy. Also it is the little mishaps at weddings that make the most memories. I thought it was fun to have all the people I love at my wedding and not just the adults.
Reply:I've been to weddings with and without kids. Weddings with kids are a lot more fun..
Reply:I wouldn't want kids at my wedding because caterers charge alot of money for childrens sometimes $25 (or more) each. Another reason I wouldn't want kids at my wedding is because I've noticed that parenting skills have deteriorated over the last few years and most children have no clue how to behave in public. They're obnoxious brats and not pleasant to be around. I don't blame the children for this, it's totally the parents' fault but I still don't want to be around these kids.
Reply:I was always bored to death as a kid going to weddings. I think they are doing this as a favor to the boys.
Reply:Some people do want "adult only" events, and that's perfectly fine and their right. They've spent a lot of money %26amp; don't want their video interrputed by some toddlers temper tantrum. When my kids were small, they could be a handful - I remember taking them out of many, many things! How many times did I missed something because I could not get a sitter! But that's what happens when you have children - it's a tradeoff you make. That does not make it okay to subject your kids to others at inappropraite settings like late evening weddings - and now that my kids are teenagers, I enjoy "adult only" events again and I am annoyed when other Mothers do not get a sitter and bring their kids to such weddings. I did it - why can't you?
Reply:Because they don't want children at their wedding... sitters are NOT that expensive....and if the parents really wanted to, they could take the cost of a sitter out of the gift of the bride and groom...(although you know someone's getting married six weeks in advance, I think the average adult could save $40 or $50 for a sitter in that time...)





A lot of weddings are extremely expensive affairs, and a lot of parents DO NOT watch their children. I had kids (that were NOT invited) come for an adult party for my mom that cost a lot of money...their mom decided to let them run around, break wine glasses, sit on people's laps and LICK the entire cake.





When a bride and groom plan an event for a year...they don't want this kind of thing to happen. Sometimes, by adding children you're adding 20-40 MORE people to your wedding costs...THAT'S A LOT OF MONEY, even if they're half priced, they're NOT eating the food....and if you're on a budget, that's a lot of money to be spending.





If someone wants an adult reception, I don't see why it's a problem to have an adult night, where you're not worrying about stepping on a bunch of children laying on the floor playing, not having to worry about keeping an eye on them instead of having a good time yourself and not wanting to spend a lot of money on food they won't eat
Reply:It is really a personal preference I think. If you choose to have a ring barer /flower girl than you may not have a problem with allowing children to attend. I am getting married in October and I have made it very clear that I do not want children to attend. Here is why...


I am having a VERY formal ceremony and reception that a child would not want to be at anyway. Weddings are adult events and to me it is like bringing a kid into a bar. No bride wants a screaming baby while in the middle of their vows. I do not think I have even been to a wedding where there were children. I think people usually know better. Also, you have to pay for them as far as catering and for non-alcoholic beverages. Having 20 kids at a wedding can be expensive. But to be honest...it is really all up to the bride and the feel that she wants. Now days weddings have no rules is seems. One day you’ll get married; and when you see the amount of time and money that goes into a wedding you’ll understand better. But, for me, I do not think a wedding is a place for children. Remember...it is a wedding not a birthday party :-)
Reply:for me its very simple - i don't mind kids at the wedding ceremony - you are right - they make the ceremony interesting - but i don't like kids being around adults when they are drinking! if a reception is alcohol free then great bring the kids, but not if there are any spirits being served. many adults act like azzes when drinking and its not something i think children should be seeing.


as for the kids in the wedding party, we rent a room and hire sitters for the kids and ensure they have lots of games, snacks, videos, etc. that way their mums and dads can run up to the room in the hotel and check on their little ones and still enjoy the reception!
Reply:The main reason we are not having children in/at our wedding because there are no children in either of our families that we are close to. We are not going to have a flower girl or ring bearer just for the sake of having one. If our siblings had children, that would be a different story.





The other reason we have an age limit is because my fiancee does have an unruly little cousin. I would not call him bratty, but parents have a hard time looking after him. It would be very unfair to invite all of the children except one.
Reply:Truthfully if my brother wasn't expecting his first and my boyfriend's siblings didn't have as many kids as they do I would have probably be on the no kids bandwagon as well. Some kids are great but from wedding ceremony to end of the reception that's easily a 5 to 7 hour stretch that I can't expect them all to make it through okay. However, with siblings alone I've hit like 10 kids some of whom will be in the wedding and some who won't plus kids of friends who I couldn't imagine not having there when Auntie/Ms. Indy is all dressed up. If I have the wedding where I'm thinking of now then the families can walk five minutes down the road to the hotel closest to the venue and not worry about driving or anything but tucking kids into bed once the partying is done. If not there then I'll include babysitters and the like because I want them and their parents to be there.
Reply:ok, i'm getting married in sept, and i am having kids and i am not having kids, a few of my cousins have kids who are absolute horrors!! they are bad bad bad kids, they don't listen to anyone, they are like under 7 and cuss and bite and yell and misbehave, but then again i have some friends who have kids who i can't imagine not having at my wedding, so for the few of those who have the kids who misbehave i am putting an insert saying an adult reception to follow and for those who i want their kids there i am not putting anything in there about kids, i know it is soooooooooooooo not the right thing to do, but the kids who are out of towners are going to be there, and if the parents of the bratty kids say anything i'm going to tell them that i only wanted so and sos kids there, and if they have a problem with it then they can leave!! i know it's not the best thing, but i'm inviting some of my aunts and uncles but not all of them, so it's the same thing, i want certain people there and not others.
Reply:Because kids can be unpredictable. People spend tons of time and money on weddings and, the last thing they want is a squirrley kid screaming through the ceremony, jamming their hands in the cake or running around unsupervised. I think it is rude for people to put "no kids" on their invitations, but generally, weddings just are not kid-friendly. (FYI, I have two kids who I adore and have taken any number of places, but never to a wedding. Weddings are boring and my two boisterous sons would go nuts! I would not want to subject the other guests and the wedding party to that.)
Reply:I am having kids at my wedding because every-one i know has kids and i think that's so un fair. the only way i would is if i felt that alcohol would interfere. but in that case i would hirer someone for that night to keep a close eye on the children in another part of the hall or where ever my wedding takes place. i Love kids and i think that if they are a part of the people you are inviting then they should come too.
Reply:the only kid we had at our wedding was my husband's one-year-old nephew, and other than him the only other kid that was invited was my maid of honor's one-year-old daughter (she didn't want to have to worry about keeping an eye on her though, so she left her with her mother-in-law). we had a few friends that had children and a lot of my cousins have children, and my husband and I aren't particularly close with any of their kids. and if we had invited all their kids, what would've increased our guest list by at least 20, and we didn't have room in our reception hall. also my mom is very anti-kids at weddings, and my parents were paying for our reception, so they made the decision for us.





so, I think for a lot of couples, the no-kids rule is to keep the guest list at a reasonable number and also because a lot of couples have never met these kids, but they are close to the parents and want to invite them. plus, a lot of kids don't care about weddings - they are forced to dress up and sit quietly - not exactly the best situation for kids, especially when adults are drinking. so why spend $20/plate on the kids meal?





we didn't have a ring bearer or flower girl, so we didn't have to worry about what to do with them. I think even most child-free brides and grooms make an exception for those kids to attend the reception.





as for making your guests find baby-sitters, that is all part of being a parent. you have to find a sitter if you want to go out for a nice meal or to a movie without kids. most of these people have sitters they regularly use. if finding a sitter for the wedding is too much of a hassle, then don't go. the bride and groom understand. it's all part of parenting.
Reply:Weddings are boring as hell for kids. And kids are more prone to act up when they're bored.





Back when I was a kid, if a child acted up, had a tantrum, or shrieked at the top of his lungs just for the hell of it, parents quickly removed his from the room. Now a days, disciplining your children appears to be "out of style" so if a kid acts up at your wedding, the parent is not likely to remove her. I've seen babies crying or toddlers shrieking at weddings with the parent not removing them from the area. I would not want to risk that at mine.





Also, the vast majority of my friends never had children and never wanted them. Many couples marrying will not have little rugrats of their own. :-)
Reply:Here's thought: At my wedding, I wanted a beautiful, professional videotape so I could relive the day whenever I wanted. I paid the company close to 7 grand for 3 cinematographers for the day. All 3 had cameras... not one of them could get a good tape with good sound of our vows because there were crying children in the audience. They refunded 75% of my money, but I am still without the video that I saved up for and wanted so very much. It was heartbreaking for me. All I have are still photos, they are beautiful, but not the same ...please keep this in mind, parents! I will never be able to get that day back. If I had known that so many people didn't know how to keep their children in line, I would have requested No Children...It still upsets me to this day and it has been 3 years...





I have a 17 month old and I would NEVER take her to a wedding. Maybe the reception for a few hours before people started drinking if the bride/groom said it was fine, but I would never take the risk of ruining someones expensive day because of my daughter. She is normally well behaved, but sometimes things happen that I can't control!
Reply:THey say if you're a performer, you shouldn't have children or animals in the act because they will steal the spotlight. MAybe the bride won't be the center of attention if you have a lot of cute kids.
Reply:I agree, kids are very welcome to my wedding. My fiance has a lot of neices and nephews, how can I not invite them. Weddings is about celebrating with family and friends no matter the age. They can be too much at times but hey sometimes that makes the party more fun.
Reply:children are unpredictable. there are those great kids that can sit still through long stuff, but then there are others who ruin movies and church services. so you either have to let everyone invite their kids and pray they are not demon children or you exclude them all and problem solved.





i did not have a flower girl or ring bearer.





a wedding is two people coming together to make a family. it is up to them who they want to invite.





**no, there is cute kid behavior, then there is demon involvement. there is a difference. a little kid stomping on a wedding dress, NOT SO CUTE! a child screaming when will this be over NO SO CUTE!





and when i have children, they will not be at a wedding unless invited and i KNOW they will behave.