Wedding receptions: Why do couples waste so much money?

Fact is... few people will even remember what flowers were at the reception... while the couple will probably spend a good 3 or four years after the reception... repaying loans and credit cards....

Wedding receptions: Why do couples waste so much money?
I do not understand this either. My wedding AND honeymoon cost $2000.00. I am just as married as my brother who spent more than my house is worth!
Reply:Some couples (or usually brides) feel like they have to have a showstopper wedding with that "wow" factor. Basically, more people than ever want a "staus" wedding they could have never had afforded before the age of credit cards. And now they can. We are in a "have" and "want to have" society. Media and even competition among friends is partially to blame as well.





BUT not all weddings are big blowouts because of this, it just makes them more common. Nowadays, couples have been working hard and saving up for years before they get married. Gone are the days of 18 year brides. Today couples usually have good jobs and savings. They are fully entitiled to have their dream wedding if they so choose. And why not?





Also, *everything* is more expensive. Say the word "wedding" and the florist tacks on $1000 extra. The cost for an "average" wedding is going up more each year.





People WILL remember a good party, and that may or may not involve a lot of money spent. People DO remember novel weddings, whether you get those results from sheer creativity or sheer extravagance.





I like the idea of donating your flowers to a nursing home, or making a charitable donation on behalf of your guests. We are doing the latter, as we are not using flowers (my 'maids are carrying wreaths, and my centrepieces are white branches with christmas lights).





You have to remember that there are just as many couples who REGRET not having a full out wedding or following their heart. I see questions here in Answers all the time where people are trying to figure out how they can have a reception months after being married at the courthouse.





If you take your vows seriously and plan to fight it out for your marriage (i.e. divorce is not an option unless there is adultry, abuse, etc.), then a wedding is a once in a lifetime event. It is a big party for you, the only time you will have everyone together aside from your funeral. You have to remember that couples are not just trying to make their guests happy, they are doing it *for themselves*.





Cheers.
Reply:I had a $16K wedding. It was split between myself, my 2 sets of parents, and my groom's parents. I had my wedding outdoors so our flower bill was minimal. We focused on what were the important things to US. Good food, drinks, a quality outdoor dance floor, and a great photographer. And of course myself. :) My dress, hair, jewelry, underclothes, etc cost a total of $1K and I will never forget the magical feeling of the night. People to this day talk about how great the food was and what a great time they had. We also have fantastic pictures that capture the beauty of the day. To each his own.





I got married March 17, 2007, and none of the people who contributed financially are in debt right now because of it.
Reply:Well ,It is truly about living for the moment. I hear what you are saying and my thought is: If you have it and want to spend it then why not? If you don't have it, but can get it give it a lot more thought along the way. If you don't have it and can't pay it back, keep it simple but enjoy it big. Everyone has a different idea of what is a waste and what is not. It all depends on what is important to them.
Reply:Well...I do agree that it's a terrible idea to take out loans and rack up credit card debt for a reception. However, because people are getting married older now, lots of brides and grooms can afford nice receptions without taking on any loans. I think that if a couple wants a nice reception and can afford it without going into debt, they should do it. Sure, it's only one evening. But you want that one evening to be special for you and your guests.





Ok, I must admit that my guy had to convince me to have a big reception! I originally didn't care that much about it. But - he said that it was our big day and that we would only have one opportunity to have our wedding. And he wants it to be perfect. So...we decided what we could afford and we're having a lovely reception with dinner, drinks, and music for our friends and family.





For us, it's not a waste. And we're paying for everything up-front. no credit card debt, no loans.
Reply:Most people don't take out loans for a wedding. That would be ridiculous. You do what you can afford.





Besides, if you want it and will enjoy it, then it's not a waste. A television can be a waste of money, but you wanted it and you enjoy watching it.
Reply:Well, the couple will remember the flowers, and thats what counts.
Reply:You call it a waste of money, I call it celebrating the most important thing I've ever done with friends and family. Why does the way anyone spends their money concern you in the least? It really shouldn't. It isn't coming out of your pocket. And, I guess you haven't considered the idea that many people save for %26amp; pay cash for their weddings.
Reply:I wish I knew...It's baffling! Don't put a down payment on a house...instead, pay up the butt for things that NO one really cares about.
Reply:I think couples stress over a lot of things that aren't going to mean much the next day, but a huge wedding is important to them.





It wasn't important to me, I got married in my in-laws house, the ceremony and reception in the same place, which a lot of people label as "tacky".





It is a shame when middle or lower middle class people spend $50 thousand on a wedding and go broke and can't get a house. They are falling into the trap set by the wedding industry that tells them they have to have this stuff.





But the rich, it is good for the economy, they should spend their money! Old proverb, money is like fertilizer, it only does good if you spread it around.
Reply:Because it seems like some(not all) weddings these days are all about trying to out-do the next person and keep up with the Joneses instead of worrying about if the person you are marrying is the right one for you.


Don't believe me? Just look at the shows that come on "Platinum Weddings", "Rock Star Weddings", and so on. People are enchanted by that and want to live like that even if they can't afford it. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having a fabulous expensive wedding IF you can afford it.


However, there are many couples who are broke after their wedding because they had to have top notch this and that which they really couldn't afford so they took out loans and used credit cards that they must pay off.
Reply:I agree and not everyone does that. My reception is very small, it's being planned by my mother-in-law but I would be willing to venture that it's no more than a couple hundred dollars.





They are extravagant because couples are convinced that it has to be huge and expensive. I couldn't see dishing out thousands of dollars for a photographer and 20 pictures total. Luckily my fiance agrees, something like that would be nice (if it wouldn't promise to be so stressful and such a headache) but we both would prefer to try and keep saving up for a house to live in. Being married is more important than am ostentatious wedding.
Reply:I think it has really gotten to be outrageous. People spend enought for a downpayment on a nice home or to pay off college loans. Why would anyone want 200 or more people there?


I think family only and a few close friends, A nice buffet supper and a centerpeice is enough. And, the honeymoon does not have to be exotic.
Reply:I don't get it either... fact is that people spend so much time and energy on trying to make everything perfect and better than any other event... when in reality perfect does not exist. Some couples are lucky to pay off the wedding debt just in time to take out loans to afford their divorce lawyers...lol
Reply:I'll have the reception that I want and I won't have to get a loan or anything for it! Many couples are responsible and save enough money for their reception. Bottom line is do what you want and if you don't want a reception and think it's a waste, then don't have one.
Reply:You only live once and the wedding is the biggest event of your life. It is the closest thing to "15 minutes of fame" that the average person will experience in their lifetime. Many people who don't have one wind up regretting it later.
Reply:You are right people dont remember, but first impressions do count. I don't know why, but people will always notice and pass comment if they think things were half done, you don't want them to remember that part of your wedding? although really you shouldnt care what people think. My personal opinion is it's really up to the couple getting married what they want to have at their reception sometimes it just takes a bit of creative thinking.
Reply:"Waste" is a matter of opinion. If it's a waste of money to you, don't have a wedding reception.
Reply:its true, they didn't think about that when they planned the receptionm. they won't remember the flowers, most of them are there to eat and to get favors.couples should invite the ones who really matters. doesn't matter how fancy it is,the couple should make it special themselves
Reply:It's all about creating an atmosphere and wanting the guests to enjoy and have a good time. Most of the decorations are also for pictures. Bride and Groom both want good pretty pictures, so with flowers and all the details will not make the pictures look plain.
Reply:I think the biggest waste is on the favors. Most of the shot glasses and such just get left behind.





I'm reusing the arrangements from the ceremony at the reception. Then I will give them to a local nursing home so that the residents can enjoy them.