Wedding Issues: Civil Ceremony, Then Reception Dinner for Family...Is this weird?

I am going nuts! Part of me wants the whole shibang, dress, flowers, everything - but part of me wants to just have a simple civil ceremony and then celebrate with friends at a very upscale restaraunt. I have so much anxiety about the whole thing, and I feel if I have a ceremony with all of out guests I will freak out and not be able to walk down the isle. So if I decide to go to the courthouse with my mother, and his father ONLY - and do it there, then have a peaceful relaxing dinner at an upscale restaraunt for about 60 of our friends and family, do you think people will look at us funny, or be upset with us that we did not let them actually witness our ceremony? I am so torn please help!

Wedding Issues: Civil Ceremony, Then Reception Dinner for Family...Is this weird?
It's your wedding; do what makes YOU happy.





I think the small ceremony with a reception afterward is just fine.
Reply:You should have the same people at the ceremony and reception. If you only have close family at the ceremony, then you take them out for dinner.


The purpose of the reception is for people who witnessed you taking your vows, to celebrate with you.
Reply:Nothing at all wrong with a small event.
Reply:Hi. Congratulations on your engagement and upcoming wedding! I see you are new...so welcome!





No, as others have said, you will NOT be looked upon "funny"...you can do what you WANT!





I take it the reason you don't want a larger ceremony is that you are shy? Once you do go up the aisle and are in front of people, you can just concentrate on your groom! You really forget the other people. I was only 21 when I got married and was really shy...but I did it! Not to say you have to....you do what YOU want. The only thing is....just be certain of your decision. What does your fiance what? What is his input? The reason I say to be secure in your decision is.....there have been many, many posters on here that have a wedding "re-do" as they regretted their decision to go to a courthouse and now want the big thing.





Really, a ceremony with only 60 guests is very inimitate and nice. Have you thought about getting married at the restaurant in a private room? Many brides do that. Or out in a garden somewhere? There are many options other than a church or courthouse. And, if you feel that you would be nervous walking down the aisle, have you thought of the two of you walking down the aisle together? Some have done that also! Or...have your mother escort you. Sorry, I don't mean to confuse you even more.....just some thoughts and ideas for you to toss around between the two of you.





If, in fact, you do want to go to the courthouse...there is certainly NOTHING WRONG with that! It will be really, really short (probably 10 minutes). You walk in....the judge says the typical "do you take....etc.," you exchange rings, sign the marriage license, and you are done! If you decide to go to the courthouse, again, you can still wear a nice white dress and carry a small bouquet of flowers if you want.





Personally, I would opt for the small ceremony either in a church, at the restaurant, at someone's home, in a garden, at a park.....and then go to the reception. Your upscale restaurant idea sounds great!





Good luck!
Reply:This is your day, not there's. Whatever you and your fiance wants should be what you do. Your guests should feel privelaged to be invited to the celebration at the restaurant. A lot of people are doing this to cut costs.
Reply:I think what you have planned is a lovely idea. Why would people look at you funny, and who even cares if they do -- that is their problem. You need offer no explanations. Send them an invitation to the reception dinner and quit stressing.





This is your wedding and it should be what you want and you shouldn't bow to pressure that you are even sure are real. Relax, have your ceremony at the courthouse and then go enjoy your party. I think it is a great way to go myself.
Reply:I think a Civil Ceremony is fine. No need for anyone there except the parents and the couple. The upscale restraurant dinner sounds great. If I were your Aunt, I'd be delighted with those arrangements.
Reply:First of all, a wedding is for the bride and groom and should be something remembered as enjoyable; not a trial by fire! Therefore, if you and your fiance would be more comfortable having a simple civil ceremony and the intimacy of a reception for 60 of your closest family and friends, then that's what you should do. You and your fiance need to talk about what the two of you would be happiest doing. If having a large blow-out wedding is going to cause you so much stress, why do it? And who cares what anyone else thinks? They aren't marrying you. The wedding will be legal and you will have enjoyed the day--'nuf said. If they're upset, let it be their problem. This is your day, not theirs.
Reply:It is entirely about you, not about all your friends and family. They also want to go to a ceremony to celebrate with you, but will be able to celebrate just as well at a dinner reception. Try to add a special touch by having them gather before you, and have someone (perhaps his father or your mother, since they'll have been at the civil ceremony) introduce you in the traditional reception fashion -- "let me introduce, for the first time as man and wife, Mr and Mrs (insert name here)".





I think it'll be nice and simple, and much better than causing you a ton of anxiety over a big ceremony. Do get yourself a nice white dress, at least for the dinner reception. Maybe a cute little white summery dress for the civil ceremony--just to help you feel like a bride.
Reply:First, you are not alone! Secondly, you have a great idea! Most folks who know you will understand your anxiety, they would be honored to come to your reception. Blessings, Chaplain Debby
Reply:My sister did the elope then party thing. Loved it!!!! This is your wedding have it the way you want it and to hell with everyone else. Isn't it the marriage not the wedding that is important? Good luck and many happy years ahead.
Reply:We are having a private ceremony with close friends and family (due to us wanting it more intimate and the location is at our house with limited parking, etc.), and then having a big reception with everyone and their dog. Just do what you feel is right. Also, what does your fiance want? His input could really help your decision, as it is a day for both of you.
Reply:No. Don't worry. People won't care if you had a civil ceremony first. They'll just be glad to show up to the restaurant and celebrate your day.