Should i be upset that my inlaws are throwing a wedding party for their daughter, but did not for me & my hubs

my sister in law is engaged and is planning her wedding in august 07. traditionally it is the brides family who throws the party but the thing is, I told my hubs, since we are both old enough and had good paying jobs we can throw one ourselves. that was 3 years ago. i bought the dress, we even went to look at some reception places together and booked one but about a week later he told me it was filled by someone else. anyway so we had a big fight about it, he says he doesn't want to do a wedding party, b/c his family does not do wedding. so we never had a wedding. i'm the only girl in my family and my brother doesn't even have a gf. so it makes me even more upset thinking how he didn't want to give me a wedding party. so now, my inlaws want us to help them plan the wedding finding reception halls,flower places, cake,decorations,getting invitationblahblah, i'm so mad i don't want to help.everything wedding makes me upset.i only asked for two things from him n only got one. what to do?

Should i be upset that my inlaws are throwing a wedding party for their daughter, but did not for me %26amp; my hubs
The person you should be upset with is your hubby. It sound to me more like he lied to you because he didn't want to be bothered with all the planning and fuss of a wedding. For what ever reason, he decided that what he wanted was more important that what you wanted and thought lying about it was okay. (I'd start looking at your financial situation and see if he's lying about anything else.....this kind of guy sounds like he's on a power trip...or completely lazy)





But don't take that out on your sister in law. She hasn't done anything to deserve that. Channel all your anger and energy into helping her have a really great reception.....she will appreciate it, your in-laws will appreciate it and you might get to see some of the ideas you had for your reception come to life. It will do you good and it can be fun.





Then...when you and your hubby are at the beautiful reception, eating the great food, dancing and you're pointing out all the lovely flowers and what a wonderful time he's having ......say to him " see what we missed" and walk away. Let him think about that one for awhile.
Reply:I CAN UNDERSTAND U BEING UPSET. AND THAT


IS ONLY NORMAL, BUT @ THE SAME TIME U


SHOULD BE THE BIGGER PERSON AND HELP


OUT AS MUCH AS U CAN. I KNOW IT'S HARD


BUT LIKE I SAID IT WILL MAKE U FEEL SOME


WHAT BETTER INSIDE THAT U HELPED


ACCOMPLISH A DREAM FOR SOMEONE ELSE.


A U NEVER KNOW MAYBE ONE DAY U WILL


HAVE A BEAUTIFUL WEDDING CEREMONY


AND RECEPTION. IT IS NEVER TO LATE.....


AND ALSO EVERYONE SHOULD BE TREATED


THE SAME BUT IT IS NOT ALWAYS GUARANTEED,,
Reply:In a word, mature. Yup, there were reasons why you didn't have the grand party BUT you got the man. Ask yourself, which is more important. Lots of people have huge weddings and their marriages last about thirty seconds.


Count your blessings! Kiss your hubby and be as helpful as possible to your sister-in-law. Your family members will thank you. Your husband will appreciate your efforts.
Reply:That is your husband's problem, not his families. sounds lilke he didn't want to have a wedding and used his family as an excuse. If you were old enough to afford the wedding yourself, why does it matter if his family didn't "do weddings" or not.





Your family should have had you the wedding party or you could have had it yourself. It isn't your sister-in-laws fault.
Reply:dont help. you dont have too.
Reply:Doesnt sound like it was your inlaws fault that you didn't get what you wanted...your hubby is the one that said no. I say help them and and have fun with it and be excited for them
Reply:No, don't be at all. Help out with the upcoming wedding as best you can. Be nice.
Reply:You should help, at least in some small way, and make sure that she gets the wedding that, unfortunetly, you didn't have. Don't let another Bride look back on her wedding day with regrets- wishing she had all her dreams come true. But, while you're helping, I would start taking notice of things that you like and talk to your husband and ask if he would renew your vows on your anniversary or have a huge anniversary party!
Reply:Grow up. Letting go of childish hurts is part of maturation.





Ask your husband to "marry" you on your anniversary in a re-commitment ceremony.
Reply:No, you should not be upset. You should be happy and excited for them. Life isn't always fair, and your bitterness will not do you any good.
Reply:you shouldn't worry about all the things that don't really matter! who cares about a party? as long as you get to marry your guy that should be the number one thing that matters! AND if you still want to have a party after reading this talk to your parents cus typically it is the brides parents who throw the party not the grooms cus they have there own daughters to worry about!
Reply:You sound very sour about the whole thing. You should have been this upset when you got married and should have had a wedding party. Dont blame it on his family, you said you had a good paying job, then plan a wedding and dont wait for anyone else to do it. Also, dont ruin your sister-in-laws wedding dreams because of what happened to you. its not her fault.
Reply:Get over it you big baby and let your sister in law have the wedding that you never had. It's selfish of you to not want her to have a wedding just because you didn't. Seriously.
Reply:things are always different for the girls then the guys because the girls family always pays
Reply:It's ok for you to be jealous and feel upset by all the attention spent on your sister-in-law's upcoming wedding, but it's not ok to take it out on your in laws. It doesn't sound like they even played a role in your not having the wedding party you wanted. You and your husband made a decision together (albeit one you don't seem happy with now) not to have a wedding party. However unhappy you are with him about that, this is still a special time for your in laws/family. Do what you can to help and celebrate. Your sister-in-law will need all the support you can give her with the planning!
Reply:Traditionally the parents of the daughter would fork out money for the wedding, so maybe instead of being upset with your inlaws, you should be upset with your own parents.