Ok.. now that we have decided to do the very small wedding and cake and punch reception, what now??

Is it still ok to have 3 bridesmaids and grooms men if we are doing a outside semi-informal wedding? I would still like to wear a pretty dress maybe not a huge ballroom gown, but if I an find $100 or less destination type dress, is it ok for me to wear it? I have only been to big weddings and receptions where things are the norm. so I don't know what is ok to still do, since we are going the cheap simple route? I would still like to have the flower girl and ring bearer (these are our kids) just everything not as formal as the usual wedding.


What are all of your thoughts about this? It's really hard to find pictures of small 15-50 ppl weddings, so any help you can give I appreciate!

Ok.. now that we have decided to do the very small wedding and cake and punch reception, what now??
I had a small, destination wedding. There was 30 people in attendance (not including the wedding party). We had a traditional wedding party.


I think people are moving away from the huge church wedding, and doing things that suit the bride and groom, more. This is, after all, your wedding day, and the ceremony (location and all) should represent YOU and your husband-to-be.


Make it your own. If you want to wear a huge ball gown, wear one, if you'd rather wear something simple, do that too. It's all about you!


With everybody doing the things they that want, we're moving away from the traditional.


my husband and I did what fit us. We had a destination wedding (at the beach), we made it our own. And everybody who attended said how beautiful it was (and people are still talking about how we had the "happiest wedding they had ever attended").
Reply:Yes, it is OK to have as many brides maids, and grooms men as you like. This is your Wedding, and as long as you and your mate are happy, that is really all that matters. I personally prefer a small modest wedding with friends and family, that way we have more money for the important things.....Honeymoon!
Reply:That sounds about like mine. I have 75 total on the invited list but expect about 40. This includes my fiance and I and our 6 combined children. And the photographer. The wedding is outside in the afternoon. All the kids are in the party at age appropriate stations. I have a MOH, another bridesmaid, and my fiance has a BM. He's wearing his dress blues (army), I'm wearing a silver Vera Wang. I'm having a fancy cake, we're doing all the dancing and centerpieces and the rest of the goofiness that is expected at the reception. So what if there aren't that many people. It's the only wedding you're going to have (knock on wood). Do everything you want and nothing you don't. It's your wedding and there is nothing that is not okay.
Reply:If you would like to have 3 maids %26amp; 3 men. Do it. It will be fine. My friend found a very pretty white dress during prom season. It was only like $89.00. If it's feasible look around that time. Definitely have your children be in the wedding. Calm down, you seem like your over thinking everything. Everything will be fine.
Reply:I've been to two such events. In one, they had four bridesmaids and four groomsmen, a flower girl, a ring bearer, rose petals, a band, a bar, and someone to carry the bride's train.





In another, they had no ring bearer, no flower girl, no bridesmaids, no groomsmen, and one man on a bagpipe for music.





I liked the first one better. Without the flower girl, and at least one maid/groomsman, there is no real indication of when the bride will be going down the aisle.





Whatever you do though, it's YOUR wedding, so do what YOU want. The groom will be plenty glad enough so long as there's a honeymoon. The family will be satisfied as long as there really is a certificate, and they get to see. Don't let them ruin your big day with their ideas. So long as there's money for it, you have the final say.
Reply:No, perhaps only 1 attendant each - %26amp; maybe just the kids - I think the informal dress is the perfect way to go. A suit for him, rather than tuxes - think more casual! You can do it %26amp; still make it special %26amp; memorable. I had 50 people %26amp; only had one attendant - downsize that wedding party!
Reply:Yes ma'am - all of the above is more than okay. I think the children as flower girl %26amp; ring bearer is great, you can have as many attendants as you wish %26amp; the choice of gown would be lovely. Since you are going with small %26amp; less formal, you don't have to have the guys in tuxes %26amp; the girls dont' have to be in evening gowns. Put the guys in dark slacks %26amp; white polo shirts or dress shirts. Let the girls choose the style of dress that suits their figures best, but have them all in the same color. You can have a simple bouquet instead of a huge thing; that way it won't detract from the beauty of your dress. I have to be completely honest with you - if you don't listen to anything else, please listen to this - DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY. Men get married - women have weddings. Does that make sense to you? The nice touches, flowers, music, dresses - all of that makes the ceremony %26amp; it's what you will look back on %26amp; remember. Also, get a professional photographer to do your pictures %26amp; make sure you get every single pose you want. You only get one shot at this so make it what you want %26amp; make it good. Just because it's 15-50 ppl doesn't mean it has to be "cheap" or poorly done. You can have as elegant a wedding as someone with 500 guests - more so because the initmacy of your situation will make the ceremony so much more beautiful. What you said "just everything not as formal" is exactly right - ya'll can kick back %26amp; relax %26amp; enjoy your day. If you want something, go for it. Good luck, best wishes %26amp; I hope you have the happiest wedding day ever!!!!!





EDIT: Not sure why folks are directing you to mother of the bride type dresses; you can find any number of lovely dresses that are for the bride, not her mother. Also, check places like craigslist.org %26amp; e-bay for dresses - they usually have tons for sale %26amp; prices are great......
Reply:Think about it this way.





If you are having 15 in attendance, 6 of those being your wedding party... that would leave only 9 in attendance.





Get yoru kids involved, that's cute and appropiate.





If I was you, I would just have a maid of honor and a best man. No need for more.





Good luck
Reply:I think you can still wear the dress you want and have BM.
Reply:It is your wedding, you can do whatever you want. It is nice to not have such a commericalized wedding. Put personal touches in it. Whatever you feel pretty in, however many people you want in it. I would have more fun at a casual wedding than @ some fufu affair where you are afraid to hug the bride and don't know what the food your eating is. You can show picture slides of you guys, getting together, having kids, blah, blah,,You can still have a great time. Flowers, candles, get creative. The hard part is already over..You found your soulmate!!!
Reply:you can still have a bridal party: just keep the whole thing simple. if you are going to have a gown on, keep the girls in some tealength dresses and the gentlemen in slacks and a casual dress shirt. you can have a beautiful wedding no matter how many people are there.
Reply:Hi and congratulations on your decision!





Here are my thoughts:





If you have already asked your 3 bridesmaids/groomsmen to participate in your wedding and they have agreed, then certainly don't change it. If you have NOT asked them, I would go with just a maid of honor and a best man since you are having an outdoor semi-informal ceremony. And, YES, have your two children as ringbearer and flower girl!!





~ You most certainly should have a pretty dress. You are already going in the right direction by looking at "destination" type gowns. Also look at the ones labeled "informal gown". Both have many choices.





~ At the bottom of my message is a link to some outdoor weddings photos that I found. They, of course, are not going to be exactly what you are having, but it may give you some ideas. You will want to rent some chairs for your guests. I like the white folding ones that you see in outdoor photos.





~ Another idea would be to get a white arch (sold at Michael's Craft Store or Walmart) and decorate it with tulle, flowers, ivy -- whatever YOU like and then stand under it during the ceremony! Very pretty. (See the last photo on the right - it has the folding white chairs and the arch).





Here is the link to the photos:





http://www.google.com/search?hl=en%26amp;q=out...


(Click at the top where it says Image Results for Outdoor Wedding Photos.)
Reply:have the ceremony - the three girls and the ring bearer/flower girl. just get a dress that isn't huge. davids bridal has options for "mother of the bride" dresses that are lovely. I wore this one for my wedding (that was small and somewhat informal) http://www.davidsbridal.com/mother_of_br...


of course mine was ivory... i dressed it up with a veil and jewelry.. look at their other "mother of the bride options like this link.... http://www.davidsbridal.com/mother_of_br...


both of these dresses are pretty inexpensive.
Reply:It's your wedding so it should be anything you want. There were 57 people at my wedding not including the wedding party, and it was semi-formal. I made all the flowers, and boutonnieres. There were 3 bridesmaids, a Jr. bridesmaids, an honorary flower girl, a flower girl, 3 groomsmen and one usher. I found my dress at a bridal shop for $200.00, and it was beautiful!! Would be glad to show you some pics.
Reply:Having bridesmades, groomsmen, flower girl, and ring bearer are still ok. You can let the attendants wear clothes they already have (white shirt %26amp; black slacks, sundresses, etc.) or you can request special attire. You can go shopping with the maids and they can all pick out the same dress to wear on the wedding day, and it can be something that they can wear again as well.
Reply:If you're having a very small guest list, you might want to consider having only one attendant each to make sure you still have an audience. And even though your reception is going to be smaller, you can still have all the elements of a traditional wedding in your ceremony. I would definitely still buy a wedding gown that's within your budget and style. Have your kids be involved. Do whatever things you really want to have in your wedding. After all, this only happens once.





Also, remember that if you're not going to feed your guests dinner, you shouldn't have your reception at a traditional dinnertime. An evening or mid-afternoon wedding might be more appropriate. And make sure your guests aren't expecting a full meal. Put something like "Cake, punch and celebration to follow at XYZ location." That way guests know to eat before they come.





Best wishes!
Reply:If you are having a semi formal wedding, you should scale down a bit. I would have bridal party, but have bridesmaids and MOH in short dresses. Groomsmen should be in casual suits or dress pants with a long sleeve dress shirt with tie with a vest. If you want to involve your children, I see no problem with them being flower girl and ring bearer, but they also should be dressed semi formal. As far as yourself and your groom, I would go with a simple wedding gown, with maybe a fresh floral wreath around your hair, and a small wedding bouquet. For gowns try alfredangelo.com, dessy.com, brides.com and for information, I would go to theknot.com. Very informative houseofbrides.com website is a good site too and topweddingquestions.com too.
Reply:Having three bridesmaids and three groomsmen is a bit too much for your semi-formal wedding. You should really cut it back to a Maid (or Matron) of Honor and a Best Man and the children.





Your dress/gown should be either floor length or tea length or right below the knee (in other words, no train). The color of your dress should be cream not WHITE, and you should not wear a veil in front of your face. The dress should be simple in design with very little ornamentation. Your jewelry should either be pearls or rhinestones (earrings, bracelet, and possibly a neckace depending on the neckline of the dress).





Since you are using the term "semi-formal" then you need to go in this direction. The Groom should wear a suit (not a tuxedo). . and your flowers and decorations should be simple. And your wedding invitations should be simple (very little ornamentation or decorative flowers or pictures).





A punch and wedding cake reception should only be held after lunch (2PM or 3PM) or after dinner (7PM or 730PM), you should not schedule this type of reception when guests are expecting lunch or dinner. You also need to put "Punch and wedding cake reception" on your wedding invitation so your guests will know that lunch or dinner is NOT being served and to eat a meal before then come to the ceremony.





You also need to keep in mind that there are many people in this world who equate what is being served at the wedding reception (lunch or dinner) with the type of wedding gift they will give the Bride and Groom.





You should never use the word CHEAP to describe your wedding, you are degrading its importance.





Answered by: A Certified wedding specialist / A Professional bridal consultant / A Wedding ceremony officiant
Reply:Just because your wedding is small does not mean you can not put some heart into it. You can do anything you want its your wedding,stop wondering what people are going to think and look at what is going make you remember this day.





Sometimes the most simplest wedding are the most prettiest.


Don't be shy in expressing yourself, remember its your day to shine. Best wishes to you.
Reply:Do it your way and enjoy your day.
Reply:Oh yeah. You can totally have a smaller, intimate, less formal wedding! It's your wedding, so you call the shots!


Just look up destination dresses, find one to try on and tell the maids they can get their dresses at a dept store.


If you are having an outdoor wedding, the scenery will already provide much of the decor!
Reply:You can do anything you like, it's your wedding! Just because it's not formal does not mean you can't have 3 bridesmaids. If that's what you want then have 3. It will be lovely. I'm having a formal wedding and I am only having 1 bridesmaid and best man for my bridal party. And of course you can still wear a gorgeous dress. Not all big dresses are beautiful and many simpler, straighter dresses are just gorgeous. Especially slim satin dresses! And as for the flower girl and ring bearer, go for it! If you want it informal, just have simpler attire. The brida; party can look great in a simpler not as fancy dress. Just look at some bridal/wedding magazines for ideas. By the sounds of your ideas, your weding will be lovely, just do it your way to reflect your and your fiance's own style and personality. Good luck!!
Reply:I sent out 45 invitations to my wedding. I think there were around 90-100 people there, including my husband and me and the wedding party. I had 3 maids, he had 2 men. We had a flower girl and a ring bearer. My dad walked me down the aisle, we lit a unity candle, they pronounced us husband and wife. We walked back down the aisle together, snapped a few pictures (my uncle took them, and my dad's a professional photographer) and went back into the room, where we had our buffet-style dinner. Our guests were seated at their tables the entire time and no, we didn't have reserved seating. We had one candle on each table as a centerpiece, in a big glass hurricane-type votive. The 'aisle' curved through the center of the room, between all the tables. Oh did I mention, we got married in a cafe'! Basically, you can do whatever you want! It's your wedding, your day. We planned the wedding in 9 weeks and it was every bit as 'formal' as a formal wedding, just more casual and laid back. It is ok for you to wear whatever type dress you want. I don't know what size woman you are, but there are some beautiful plus-size gowns (simple, affordable ones) at www.lanebryant.com. I would suggest even having one made. Or try Ebay. If it's going to be a semi-informal outdoor wedding, I think it would be cute if your dress and the maids and flower girl's dresses were all tea-length.(to the knee) Just find a dress that you love, that fits you great, then go from there on the girls' dresses. The guys would look great just in khaki's, shirt and long ties. Maybe your groom could be in a linen suit, depending on both of your taste's. You can look at my myspace it's www.myspace.com/minlew I have some pictures posted of my wedding. Good luck and I wish you both the best~!